“He heeded their prayer,
because they put their trust in Him.”
1 Chronicles 5:20
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I learned a new way of praying in the last several weeks, and I can’t believe I never prayed this way before. But you know what? It was brought on by a sort of helplessness.
As I’ve shared, this season in my family’s life is very different from ones that have gone before. Up until now, I’ve homeschooled both my kids, and I’ve been a stay-at-home mom. This year, my daughter is attending college, so I’m only homeschooling one, and I’ve got a part-time job outside the house, so I’m a mostly-stay-at-home mom. I’m away from my kids more than I’m used to, and I don’t like it.
I know it’s good for them, and it’s good for me, but of course that doesn’t mean it’s not hard. My heart is in being a mom, and in making our home run smoothly, and I feel like I can’t do that as well. But I’m finding my way, little by little.
It’s a hard transition for my girl, too. She loved being homeschooled. She worked hard in her studies, but learning at home meant taking a break whenever she wanted, and studying in her jammies, sprawled out on her bed, with our kitty in a patch of sunshine near her. Now she has to be up and out early, deal with strangers, and fight the parking chaos.
After she left a few weeks ago, I was praying for her, as I normally do. I prayed for peace if she was anxious, and safety in driving, and that her day would go smoothly and quickly. But then I felt like I was struggling a little, wondering if that was all I needed to pray for, for her. Were there any other aspects of her day I needed to cover? Did she have a test today? She’d probably have told me if she had, but…. Was she having any trouble getting from one class to the next, on time? Was it hot in any of her classes, or was the AC turned on so high she might even be cold?
All of a sudden I found myself praying in agreement with her. It was like I desperately said to God, “Whatever she’s praying for, I want that too.”
It was sort of liberating. I didn’t need to know every detail of her day (even though I still wanted to!) in order to cover her in prayer. She knew what all her needs were. She knew her concerns and her joys, her prayers and her praises. And I could join her without any knowledge on my part whatsoever.
Since then I’ve been praying that way daily, for her, for my boy and my husband, and for a lot of other people on my prayer list. It’s all included under the “Thy will be done” banner of course, and in sweet way it almost removes me entirely from the equation. It is about that person I love, and the God I trust, and how much I want His will and their will to align.
The older my kids get, the less intimately I am involved in their lives. There will always be things they want to share with me, but also things they want to keep to themselves. But there’s no reason I can’t be in harmony with them anyway. Limited vision, but fully with them in my heart.
Light Expectations 