“we do not know what we should pray for”
So a few weeks ago, I celebrated an anniversary. Well, not celebrated, really. Acknowledged is a better word.
It’s been one year now, since I started experiencing headaches, dizziness and balance issues on a near-daily basis.
In that year, I’ve seen nine doctors. I’ve changed my glasses and my diet, and started exercising more and differently. We’ve removed the carpet in our house in favor or wood floors, and replaced our mattress.
I’ve added vitamins and supplements to try to augment something that might be missing in my body. And I’ve undergone a series of balance and visual therapy exercise to try to strengthen my eyes and the balance center of my brain.
But a year later, after all that, I’m largely the same.
Now, I’m not complaining when I tell you all this. For the most part I wouldn’t say that all of this has a tremendous negative effect on my life. There are days where I hardly think about it, and other days when I’m less productive than I’d like to be. And I know that every one is going through something. Maybe it’s physical, maybe it’s spiritual ~ He promised there would be tribulation in this life.
What’s interesting to me, though, is the way my prayers have changed over the past year. In the beginning, my prayer was just to be healed. A pretty natural reaction, really. I’d try some new method of solving my problem, and it would be accompanied by prayer that this would take away my issues.
But then it became apparent that each new tactic wasn’t working, and I’d get discouraged, and my prayers would change. Because no matter how I’m feeling on any given day, I still have things to do. Teaching my kids, taking care of the house, feedin’ my peeps, running errands, writing… If I wasn’t going to be healed of my headaches and dizziness, then I needed strength to persevere. It’s like the thorn in Paul’s flesh (2 Corinthians 12) ~ the Lord’s strength is perfect in my weakness.
But somewhere along the line I realized that my prayers had evolved again. While I’m still hoping that something will change and I’ll find the key, I’m also praying that I’ll learn what He wants me to through this. I feel like He wouldn’t have let it go on this long unless it’s important for my life in some way. I mean, that’s true of every aspect of our lives, but especially the difficult things. He wastes nothing.
The truth is, all three prayers are important. All three prayers are heard by Him, and valued by Him. And I’ve never been more grateful for the promise in Romans 8:26 ~ “Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.”
When I don’t know how to pray, He knows. Joy! The important thing is to keep praying.
~ “pray without ceasing.” ~
1 Thessalonians 5:17