“You shall not at all do as I am doing here today…”
My priority this morning was grading my kids’ schoolwork. It’s important. I need to get stuff back to them so they can use it to review for their tests, and when I do the lesson planning for next week, I need to know if they’ve fallen behind in any of their subjects, so we can remedy that somehow, and I don’t just overload them.
But I needed to do some laundry. I like to do it in the morning so things can hang on the line during the day. And I didn’t do any yesterday because I was out most of the day. But because of where I left the loads on Wednesday, starting laundry today wasn’t just about throwing a load in the washer, it was about folding what was in the dryer, so it could receive what was next for it (not everything gets hung on the line). And there was already stuff out on the line from Wednesday (which is probably getting dusty from cars on the street behind my house, so maybe it wasn’t even as clean as it was when I hung it, but I just can’t go there) and throwing it in the dryer for a few minutes to soften that clothesline stiffness.
And doing the laundry meant returning the rugs to my bathroom, but I didn’t just want to toss them back on the dirty floor, so I set them near the bathroom because I didn’t want to interrupt the laundry process to get into the cleaning-the-bathroom process.
So grading was my #2 priority, I guess.
But then my sister called. And of course I could ignore her call ~ she knows I do that sometimes, if I’m in the middle something when she calls. But I wanted to talk to her because we hadn’t talked in a week. So we had a nice chat, solving problems in each others’ lives, and then creating more because, well, sisters do that sometimes. It’s all a part of making each other better people. S’all good, y’all.
So really, grading was #3…
And when I got off the phone, I realized it was getting warm already (sigh…
summer spring in Southern California) and if I didn’t exercise soon, it would be even more miserable for me. Because exercise is already miserable for me.
And on the way out to the garage where the stepper and stationary bike are, I walked past the rugs again. How long are those going to sit there? Will they get dirty again before I even get them back to where they belong, from being used as a bed by the cat and/or the dog?
Grading? What grading?
It’s not that I didn’t get anything done all morning. I was “getting done” from the moment I got up! (Or ten minutes after that, because *blink, blink*)
And after lunch is the afternoon. With its own schedule and its own priorities. Do I do the things that didn’t get done in the morning? Or do I accomplish the afternoon’s agenda so that I can feel accomplished about something?
Guilt if I read. Guilt whenever, whatever I choose. Less healthy than I’d like to be. No clean underwear. A dirty house. Out of eggs. Ignoring God. And is it any wonder I never get around to cleaning the floor behind my toilet? And yes, I’m ashamed of that. Please don’t look behind my fridge, either.
And the running of my brain… Should I be eliminating soy and Vitamin D supplements from my diet? Am I really just one ingredient away from my dizzy spells being gone, and the complaints in my right knee disappearing? And all I have to do is figure out what that one ingredient is. By reading articles people post on facebook, and researching what has worked for friends and relatives and bloggers and news anchors. And then reading labels, which is hard to do because the print is too small and I didn’t think to bring my reading glasses into the grocery store with me but maybe if I eat more carrots my eyes will improve but the starches in those carrots will turn to sugar so I shouldn’t have too many but maybe it’s okay as long as I exercise enough and does it count if I have to run back out to my car to get my reading glasses so I can read labels?
I want slow and simple in my life. I crave it. But my life is too busy and complicated to be slow and simple.
You’ll say I should cut something out of my life, but what? Studying the Bible? Reading? Writing? Spending time with my family? Socializing? Besides, I have cut things out of my life. Like cleaning behind the fridge. And I feel guilty for it. And at least once a year I re-evaluate the things I’m involved in, to weed out anything that’s doing more harm than good, and make sure I’m spending time in ways the Lord wants me to.
Whew! That’s a lot of over-analyzing, isn’t it? I don’t know which is busier, sometimes: my body or my mind.
I read something interesting a few months ago, that popped back into my mind this evening. In days when hunters would go out with their dogs, it sometimes happened that the dogs would race off after their quarry, and not return for hours. So if it grew dark and they still hadn’t returned to their master, then he would leave his hunting coat or vest at the place where he had released the dog. In the morning, the hunter would return to that place, and find his lost dog curled up by his coat.
Some days I get lost. In my thoughts… in my worries… in my wonderings and plans. I chase something ~ something good or excellent. Maybe even something my Master has sent me to do. But in the chasing and racing, I get lost, and weary.
I am not alone, of course. He is never far from me, even when I’ve lost sight of Him. And peace will be waiting for me, when I return and curl up, exhausted, to clutch the hem of His garment.
~ “And which of you by worrying
can add one cubit to his stature?
If you then are not able to do the least,
why are you anxious for the rest?” ~